|Me and my mother.|
March 27th marked 31 years since my mother passed away from cancer. Although my grief is private, ...well sometimes it is not. Throughout my life, whether it be in school, university or in my adult life, the grief has overwhelmed me at times and I have ended up publicly in tears.
Let me tell you how embarrassing it is for someone to ask you as a teenager or adult as to why you're crying, and all you can blubber out is something to the effect of, "my mu m mother died when I was two and I'm still totally upset!"
Much to yours and my relief, I have had some good therapy in the last few years and have done a lot of personal work to get through some of this raw pain.
So at this point in my life, with a four year old son and a reasonable amount of stability, I don't feel overwhelmed by grief so much as I feel enveloped with love.
I may not have any memories of my mother, but I'm sure that because of who she was, her love has stuck with me all of these years. I can feel her heart and know that it is connected to the joy that I feel when I'm with Henry.
All this to say, I think that the best way I can honour my mother, and what I'd want to see Henry do if he were in a similar position, is to find a way to move on unencumbered and to thrive.
Which for me resonates with this Robert Frost poem I recently came across:
A Prayer in Spring
Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.
Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.
And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid-air stands still.
For this is love and nothing else is love,
The which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that we fulfill.
And the rest...IN PICTURES:
|Pure Maple Sap.|
5 more days to go.
|Pancakes revisited. |
They were delicious.
Thanks to new baking powder.
|Henry went to a Paw Patrol birthday party. |
Came back with tats.
|Sunday afternoon at the beach. |
|Henry & I decorated Easter eggs and hung them from sticks.|
This week brings April Fools Day, karate class, Easter and the end to my month of austerity.
Hello chocolate, friends, coffee, and going out!