We took down the car collage off of Henry's lime-green wall yesterday. And the world map. The Babar posters too.
Out of the office, Henry's artwork squares were removed as well as the mother's day sunflower. Downstairs the random pictures and photos all taken down.
The walls are now strangely bare. Empty.
I played the piano in this house for the last time. My piano books are now packed up. So no musical offerings for a while.
We have officially moved ahead this week.
Now it's all execution.
The house is due to go on the market 4 November, in 10 days. It should take a week to sell in this crazy Toronto market. It'll be a wild ride.
So lots of work to be done, and each time something is discarded, moved, packed or rearranged, it's like a vapour of memory is released. Like a time-capsule of feelings discovered hiding behind the everyday landscape of the house.
And with these feelings surface memories of when I was 18 and leaving home for the first time to attend university in Montreal. Specifically, the feeling of packing up a previous life and heading out into an unquantified world. There is a mixture of trepidation and deep excitement.
But at 18, I had only myself to think of. That was complete freedom.
This time, I have a 4 year old boy who is also facing churning emotions and uncertainty. However, I firmly believe that he will be pleasantly surprised at how much more enjoyable life will be once mummy and daddy are living apart. I believe our relationships will then have a chance to flourish.
And then Friday night my friend and I went to see Sinead O'Connor play Massey Hall.
The concert was absolutely incredible. Even Sinead thought so. The audience was screaming for her, waving their arms, swaying, trying to dance in the aisles, crying...it honestly felt like a revival.
There is much I'd like to say about the concert. But my energy is tapped out.
The main point is that this is a woman who refuses to conform and she expresses with crystal clear truth the deepness of her feelings and experiences and self-reflection.
She was present throughout her performance.
The a capella song dedicated to her mother had me in tears. I was not alone.
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