Deep breath. Look around. Silence.
I feel like I just got off the longest roller coaster of my life.
It has been two months since the transition to daycare started.
It started out dark, scary, but gentle. And then each day was like going up side down in the dark for a little bit longer each time.
Especially at the beginning it was utterly exhausting emotionally and physically to untie myself from the minutia of Henry's life, our routines. To wonder if I was really hurting him and causing irreparable damage.
I have rarely ever felt so alone. Having been his primary caregiver, my experience was different from S's.
When I returned to work and S and I shared the responsibilities, I no longer felt alone. I am so grateful for a loving husband and doting father to Henry.
Going back to work meant revisiting an identity I had put on hold for 7 months. All of a sudden people wanted answers to questions I had forgotten existed. And in a new role, in a new office, I am still adjusting and catching up.
Add to this the on-going work in the basement (which should be completed this Thursday), the subsequent deletion of our savings, the consequent dust distributed all over the house and the basement furniture that is crowding every room of the house preventing the full enjoyment of any room...and well, that's all a bit stressful.
Add on a 3-week cold that I just can't shake, Henry also having been sick and waking up a lot at night (thankfully now seems to be better...after weeks of rain the sun has finally come out. In many ways.
The roller coaster is slowing down and I can see the end of the ride.
Henry is a very happy boy and loves daycare. I have a job that allows me to have flexible hours. Our basement is about to be finished and be much improved. Our house will be re-arranged, cleaned and once again a joy to live in. My cold will go away soon.
We have wonderful friends and family who have supported us through all of this and for that I am grateful.
It is once again time to wrap up and prepare for the next day.